Worthless

“I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ” ―  Yann Martel,  Life of Pi Everyday is an internal struggle. And IT IS HARD.  On one hand I want to be as positive as I can but the other part of me keeps dragging me down. It's been months. To some it may seem stupid that I still have not moved on until now. Been claiming that am one hell of a strong woman but here I am, still crying myself to sleep almost every night, thinking what went wrong and what I did to deserve all this pain. A happy outlook especially at times like this is extremely important. We need all the positivity we can get as it helps us to be healthy. As hard as ...

It's been a while. For some reason I thought of my blog while at work today so I visited this. Made me smile. Reading my past posts made me realize how I seem to still be that same person - simple. So simple to the point that sometimes I find myself boring. Maybe that's why... Oh well. Going through this blog got me thinking whether I should start posting again. Especially now that I have so many internal struggles, and a lot of things are happening (and not happening). Just an outlet where I can let go of what I really feel. Do not get me wrong. I know am still lucky that despite everything, I find the courage to search for that inner strength to go on no matter what. Of course, all these through HIM who gives me hope when am this down.  This too, shall pass. UPDATE: And oh, just noticed that my last post before this was on the same day 12 years ago. Hopefully my new posts be more mature compared to those rants by that silly and naive little girl that was me....